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God’s glorious grace over foot in mouth  

Foot in MouthNorfolk Christian speaker Ruth Tong writes openly about one of the effects of her battle with depression, and how God graciously covers her even when she is at her lowest socially.

I have foot in mouth as many of you who know me will attest to!

For those of you who regularly follow my blog you’ll know about my struggle with mental ill health in the form of depression. When I’m in the deep sadness I am less sharp socially than I need to be and live knowing at any moment I could unwittingly do / say something and drop a clanger. I do this because my diplomacy filters aren’t functioning as they usually do and I interact from within my cloud. I have lost count of the times I’ve acted first and weighted up my actions second only to realise I’ve dropped the ball and framed my conversation too bluntly and caused offence. This really bugs me about me!

I was pondering on the times when the mess of my inner-self has slopped out and I’ve suffered the humiliation of ‘not being the nice person everyone thought I was’. Actually I’m ok; most of the time I’m really quite a likeable person. I genuinely care deeply for people; they matter to me – so when I inadvertently cause hurt I’m reminded of my need for God. I’m reminded of His grace and His goodness towards me.

During my quiet time it dawned on me that much of what I do tries to compensate for this weakness, for no one enjoys rejection. I realised I try and be so kind and so loving folks will overlook my weird days.  There are times this has led to an unhealthy exhaustion as I’ve tried to people please; to compensate for the times I know I’ll probably drop another clanger! 

What I have learned in my time on this earth is when I’m living to please God He covers me. He covers my inappropriateness, my pride, my mistakes. His grace somehow fragrances the contexts buffering against my foggy days. His grace brings humour and favour where I don’t deserve it. When I’m living to please my saviour I don’t need to compensate because His hand is upon my life shaping me, sculpting me into something that will bring Him Glory!

Folks - the Lord loves a trier! Just keep living to please Him, to bring Glory to the one who called you out of darkeners and into His wonderful light, and you’ll be ok!

Love Ruth
 
Ruth Tong is the Coordinator of Women’s Ministries at Downham Market Christian Fellowship and the author of ‘Love Drops from Heaven’.  Ruth regularly blogs at www.ruthtong.com

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