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Do you feel detached from God?

Regular Network Norwich and Norfolk columnist James Knight examines the feeling of being separate from God and considers how moments of detachment can be moments of growth.

Do you ever have one of those days where you feel so detached from God that it hardly seems like He is there?  I suspect most of us do – in fact, it is probably true that a day can soon turn into two or three days, and before long we have lived through a week of feeling somewhat detached from God.  Perhaps sometimes the detachment is prolonged because we convince ourselves that it must be our fault we are detached from Him – after all, we know that God will not detach Himself from us – He promises us that He will not:

“God has said, ‘never will I leave you; never will I forsake you’.” Hebrews 13:5

God in becoming man did not just give us ‘a’ wonderful thing, but ‘the most’ wonderful thing of all - a glorious act which could reconcile even the most timid and frightened men to the stupendous nature of the Divine.  So when I said we convince ourselves that it must be our fault we are detached from Him and that that might cause further detachment as we veil ourselves in the shame of hiding and reproach ourselves for falling away, we must stop right there and remember what the situation is really like.  Yes we have become temporality detached, but we must look back to Christ’s own time on earth to find comfort, for Jesus Christ Himself took all the fears of man into His own heart, so that He could offer us certainty on the cross.  He did this because He lived as we did; therefore if ever we become detached, let us remember the vital light that will lead us back from the darkness – the truth that Christ Himself became detached from the Father.

Let us look at what preceded the detachment that Christ felt – it was fear; a fear that embodies all feelings of separation, rejection, loneliness and despair.  I believe that if we are attentive to our own most honest and candid reasons for detachment we will probably find that fear is at the root of it.  Yet Christ is our perfect sympathiser - He too became scared in Gethsemane:

Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, "Sit here while I go over there and pray."  He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled.  Then he said to them, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me."  Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will."  Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. "Could you men not keep watch with me for one hour?" he asked Peter.  "Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak."  He went away a second time and prayed, "My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done."  When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy.  So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing. Matthew 26:36-44

In this instance - as in all instances connected to the Divine plan - the fear was a small part of a much bigger picture; a picture that would lead to the salvation of man.  The most helpful part of anticipating the fear or sorrow or (as is often the case) sin that leads to detachment is to see it as a small part of a much bigger supernatural picture, for all the time there are unknowable things going on between you and God that have yet to shape your soul.  These are things that will reach fruition at a later date; thus the moments of detachment are almost always moments of edification and growth.  In fact, it is often true to say the more one feels detached from God yet at the same time remains aware of the need for reconciliation the deeper the lesson or the more profound the growth.  We are all a work in progress, and there are always lessons to be learned – therefore it is how we face up to the challenges that will ultimately shape our work and our progress.

Christ’s prayer to have the cup of suffering removed and the burden lifted was a prayer that was refused by the Father, so we naturally, in our own life, expect to endure certain things that are very difficult to cope with.  But we can find a way to endure these things.  In becoming man, God had to endure a period of separation; He had to become detached from the Heavenly realm so that we could connect with God through our own self-surrender.  The very act of creation at the human level and, presumably, at the Divine level, must involve a form of detachment.  The more perfect the creature, the further this detachment must at some point be pushed.  I suppose that this might well apply to a man’s abilities as well; the more moral he is the less he will feel comfortable around immoral people; the more Godly he is the less he will find in common with ungodly people; and the smarter he is the more detached he will feel from the everyday world.

When they had crucified him, they divided up his clothes by casting lots. And sitting down, they kept watch over him there. Above his head they placed the written charge against him: THIS IS JESUS, THE KING OF THE JEWS. Two robbers were crucified with him, one on his right and one on his left. Those who passed by hurled insults at him, shaking their heads and saying, "You who are going to destroy the temple and build it in three days, save yourself! Come down from the cross, if you are the Son of God!"  In the same way the chief priests, the teachers of the law and the elders mocked him. "He saved others," they said, "but he can't save himself! He's the King of Israel! Let him come down now from the cross, and we will believe in him.  He trusts in God. Let God rescue him now if he wants him, for he said, 'I am the Son of God.'"  In the same way the robbers who were crucified with him also heaped insults on him. From the sixth hour until the ninth hour darkness came over all the land. About the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?" — which means, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me ?" Matthew 27:35-46

It is probably true (and I cannot be certain) that the moment Christ was detached from the Father on the cross was the single most painful experience possible.  To be God and then, for a brief period of time, separated from Him must involve a pain which is beyond the level of man’s feeling and understanding.  But this pain is the very thing that has taken the weight of our sin; that is, when Christ became sin for us He offered us to the Father in the biggest moment of grace the world has ever seen.  And just as we have admitted that the pain Christ endured is of the worst kind - a kind of pain beyond human imagination - we must also admit that the reversal of this; the joy of receiving God’s grace through the Spirit must be a pleasure beyond that of ordinary understanding – in which case, we can easily concur with St James that our sufferings and detachments should be pure joy, provided we are looking for a way back. 

And this is exactly what we find as we try to learn from our detachments when they occur, sometimes we must be still and listen to our hearts.  Given that Christians do not believe that lengthy detachment can supply them with the tangible media of passion, emotion and sentiment necessary for fulfilment, we know that somewhere along the way detachment involves God inviting us to come back having learned more about a situation than when we first went away.  And Christ can help us and teach us all the more because He too was once detached, and knows exactly what we are going through.  The key for us has always been to learn from our detachments when they occur, and return to Him wiser and more blessed than when we first started to fall away.  The most important point about detachment is not staying there too long, and the great thing about God’s eternal love for us is that we never have to; whenever we are ready to come to Him He is always waiting with open arms and a spacious heart, eager to welcome us back into the life that He desires for us.